Today I welcome Kenyon Ledford author of Space Creature Versus Earth Creature. He is a songwriter too, and a downright hilarious personality.
Here we go.
VH: If you could change one thing about our world, what would it be and why?
Kenyon: Good question, Van. Okay, dinosaurs would rule the world again, but this time, instead of being all aggressive and roaring all the time, they would be chocolate chip ice cream, and their hooves, or feet, or whatever, would be waffle cones. Except for the raptors. They would be bellhops, and they would roar all the time, but not because they were being aggressive, but because they were mad about their tips. I think this is a good idea because chocolate chip ice cream is really good, and bellhops need to speed up their service, but at the same time not eat children.
VH: That Kenyon, is quite a picture.
If you knew the exact date of your death down to the minute, what would you change about your life starting tomorrow?
Kenyon: It depends on the date of death. If the date of death was to be tomorrow, at say eleven O'Clock in the morning, I would call in sick to work, drink plenty of fluids, and then sit in a chair and stare at a stop watch. I would breathe in a calm manner, and if I didn't die at the exact moment I would say, "I knew it was all bull crap," and then would act really smug the rest of my life. However, if the date of death was decades and decades ahead, I would have to think that I could do anything I pleased, and still not die. With that in mind I would begin smoking again, but instead of using ashtrays, I would grind my cigarettes--no, Cuban cigars out in the eyes of bikers. I would shoot Wild Turkey whiskey into my liver with some hypodermic needle I found in a downtown garbage bin, and I'd rob banks and shoot people. However, if indeed it was all bull crap, well, there would be some awkward moments, then I suppose, hey?
VH: Okay... well now I am almost afraid to ask.
After a difficult day, what do you do to recuperate? Does it work?
Kenyon: After a difficult day I close my eyes, and then snap rubberbands into them. Does it work? Not really, it hurts more than anything, to be honest.
VH: Kenyon, truly you are one of a kind.